This place is always busy with families because it’s one of the big four attractions by County Hall: the London Eye, London Dungeon, Shrek’s Adventure and Aquarium. They’re literally within fifty paces of each other so the pavement is permanently heaving with people deciding what to do, deciding whether to queue, posing for photos, seeing where the boat goes, or just standing there snapping selfies and getting in absolutely everybody’s way (mainly mine). So it’s an extremely busy place – you’ll be grateful for the peace and quiet once you step inside.
Shark tank’s glass floor
The very first thing that they make you do once you’ve paid your entry fee is walk across the top of the shark tank – and I’m being serious. They’ve laid a glass floor across the top of it so you can see the frenzied sharks thrashing beneath your feet, with strings of blood trailing out of their mouths like snot from a school kid’s nose, gnashing and sharpening their scissor-like teeth ready for when the wafer-thin glass cracks and sends the tourists tipping into the tank like human flakes of fish food. Apparently this is supposed to be fun. I have to be honest and admit that I don’t enjoy this bit, and I am always very careful to check it for cracks beforehand because you can never be too careful.
The only good news is that if the worst happens then death will be quick because sharks don’t hang about when it comes to eating humans, and I’m guessing it will all be over in less than ten-seconds. But I suppose it all depends on which piece of you they bite off first: your arm, your leg or your head. Ideally you want it to be your head.
After that you head downstairs to the fish tanks. It’s all very dark and stone-like down here. There’s a warm watery smell in the air and swirling movie music playing though the speakers (one of those ocean adventures like 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea). You begin with the little fish: starfish, urchins and anemones. They’ve got a few jellyfish and squids and an octopus as well. Then you walk round a corner and into another world… you’ll be standing in front of a gigantic tank with spotlights at the top making it look like there are rays of sunlight falling through it, like sunshine through a storm cloud, cutting through the hazy blue gloom to a carcass on the bottom. It looks like the bones of a whale, or the big ribs of a plesiosaur. It really does feel like you’re peering into another world.
The underwater glass tunnel
The really great thing about this tank is its glass tunnel across the bottom of it, so you can see a million fish floating six inches above your head. You’ll see a giant ray swooping across the sky like a billowing bedspread let loose from a washing line, and a big tortoise as well, or a turtle, a terrapin, or whatever those floating stones are called. I know the glass distorts everything you’re looking at, but when the ray swims over the top of the tunnel it looks like the bottom of a rowing boat with four oars sticking out the side.
Two-storey shark tank
After that it’s back to the sharks. You’ll find yourself standing at the bottom of that same two-storey tank that you walked across at the start, and this is one of things that I like most about the arrangement of the place: you keep coming across the same tanks as you wind your way up through the building, viewing them at different levels.
The shark tank is big enough to turn the blue water black at the back and they emerge out of the gloom like hunting submarines.
Nemo’s Kingdom & Penguin Point
Then you’re into the little kid’s section: Nemo’s Kingdom. You won’t have any trouble finding Nemo in here because there are about fifty-thousand of them swimming around the brightly coloured corals.
After that you’re into my favourite zone: the Aztec rainforest with rock carvings and jungle creepers hanging from the ceiling. It’s like a lushly-coloured jungle with tropical storm sounds and cascading waterfalls and all of the animals look like they’re ready for war. It’s all armoured shrimps and piranhas – prehistoric-looking creatures from the time of the dinosaurs.
The final section is Penguin Point which has been completely revamped since the last time I visited.
The last time I came it was just a swimming pool of water with about five lonely penguins in it, but it’s like a Disney film set now – they’ve added a big wintery grotto to it with columns of frozen snow and an icy waterfall tumbling down the back wall.
If you enjoy this then try Battersea Park Children’s Zoo (take a tube journey from Waterloo to Sloane Square) and London Zoo (travel from Waterloo to Camden Town by tube). The aquarium is next-door to the London Eye and London Dungeon. You can buy a combo a ticket that covers all of those plus Madame Tussauds as well
