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Important note:This review was written when Mayor's Question Time was held at City Hall, but the Mayor of London is supposed to be moving his office to the Royal Docks in Newham on the 26th November. However, it now looks as if this move is going to be delayed. Mayor's Question Time is still scheduled to be moving out of City Hall sometime in December, but at the time of writing we don't know where or when. So if you want to see it after that then you'll have to go to the new offices.
City Hall is where the Mayor of London works. It looks like quite a friendly building from afar but once you get within thirty feet you'll start to wonder whether you're really allowed inside. You'll end up milling around the forecourt for five minutes watching the security people waving their beeping machines over people's suits and shoes before letting them pass -- this is when you need to hold your nerve and head through the door.
If you want to make an effort to blend in then you need to be holding a folder or a laptop bag, because the kind of people who come in here actually have work to do -- they have jobs (urgh!). I can see them queuing up at the desk to sign in for a meeting... see them waiting patiently for a chaperone to take them upstairs... see them fiddling with their tie, fiddling with their phone... there are lots of quick chats in the corridors and mad dashes to a meeting. Lots of catch you laters, yeah? Work is going on. Stuff is being done. It's the atmosphere of a modern office.
Attending the monthly meeting
The only thing worth watching as a member of the public is Mayor's Question Time. It's usually held in the middle of the month but they change the date around so you'll have to check their website first. I used to come here all the time when Boris Johnson was Mayor because he used to slip in a few jokes and anecdotes and liven it up a bit, but the guy we've got now is a thoroughly modern politician (and I don't mean that in a complimentary way). He looks the part and sounds the part, but that's pretty much it.
If you want to grab a seat then try and arrive quite early. And I don't mean 3 o'clock in the morning -- that is too early. 9.30 AM should be fine (assuming that it starts at 10 AM, which it usually does). Remember to give yourself a bit of extra time to queue through security.
Inside City Hall's council chamber
Once you've negotiated the security set-up you can walk up the interior ramp that winds it's way around the window to the council chamber, and then you have to stand there whilst they busy themselves shuffling the chairs and filling up the water jugs inside. You'll probably be surrounded by a load of school-kids and university students by this point, and that's exactly where I am right now, earwigging on their conversations. I haven't got the faintest idea what they're talking about -- they're all talking like they text. One of them literally just said "LOL" instead of laughing. They spend so much time texting each other it's become part of their everyday speech.
When they finally let us inside most of the 350-400 seats are quickly taken up by students with paper pads on their knees and biros sticking out of their mouths (and noses). The rest are being occupied by photographers, journalists scribbling furiously into their notebooks, and a lady who seems to be updating her Twitter feed every 0.5 seconds. Anticipation is in the air. Everybody is waiting for the Mayor to arrive.
The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan
Here he comes... Sadiq Khan has just strolled in and he's looking very casual today. He reaches out for his water jug and positions it very carefully in front of him to act as a shield. He looks surprisingly nervous but it's not really surprising given the arrangement of the seats. He's sitting all on his own whilst a horseshoe table fans out around him filled with the opposing Assembly members. And behind them come the baying mob (the public), sitting in four tiers of seats like a Roman amphitheatre. And there's no safety glass between him and us, either (unlike at the House of Commons), so there really is no escape for the poor fella. Everyone is looking at him. Every camera is focused on him, and every word he says is being amplified out of about fifty speakers that are dotted around the room. They've even positioned a huge TV screen off to the side with a zoomed-in close-up of his face, so you can see every lip twitch and bead of sweat that's rolling down his forehead.
It's amazing that they let you get so close to him in this day and age. If you had a bag of rotten tomatoes then I reckon you could hit him nine times out of ten -- that's how close he is.
He starts off with a bit about the night tube.
A speech about rough sleepers and pollution now... knife crime figures... lots of stats... numbers... words... more words... I glaze over at this point and start looking through the back window at the Tower of London. By the time I focus back on what he's saying he's rattling through a passage about airport expansion. He obviously doesn't want to commit to anything in case it comes back to bite him later, so he's trying that time-honoured technique of deflecting every question with another of his own. The Assembly members aren't having any of that nonsense and just ask him the same thing again, and again, and again. Answer the question, mate, they're saying. We're here to ask you things, remember, not the other way around. He just filibusters for another five minutes and I'm not sure we're learning anything at all.
It's quite interesting watching the crowd whilst all of this is going on. If you've never seen four hundred people having a daydream then this is the place to see it. People are dragging their fingers through their hair like they're pulling sticks through concrete. They're grinding their eyes with the pads of their thumbs. Eating isn't allowed inside the chamber so they're chewing their fingernails instead. Stifling yawns. Coughing ever so quietly to try and get rid of that tickle in their throat. One guy is unscrewing and screwing and unscrewing and screwing his bottle top on about fifty-thousand times. Another one is leafing through the question paper without reading a single word. These are the sights and sounds of boredom.
As time goes by the arena starts to empty out as people pick up their bundle of coats and disappear. Whole rows of school kids leave at once, and if you turned up late then this is when they'll finally let you in.
Cafe at City Hall
Once you've tired of the meeting you might like to visit the cafe downstairs for a cup of tea. I quite like it down here because you can sit amongst the politician-types whilst they chat angrily on their phones. The smart suits beside me are rifling through a stack of black folders that have Post-It notes falling out all over the place, trying to find some transport infrastructure numbers in-between quick nibbles of their cheese paninis. After another couple of sentences about scheduling a sit-down meeting with the boss of some building company they eventually find time for another bite until... how about next week?; I can fit you in next week, he says. Telephone him first, though, to make sure he's done such and such and spoken to so and so. Gotta go, gotta rush. Speak to you next week, yeah? Okay yeah, bye, yeah, right, gotcha. Gotta go. Nice to meet you, he says... then he's gone.
Downing Street (catch a tube from London Bridge to Westminster), Guildhall (walk it in 20 mins or London Bridge to Bank) and Houses of Parliament (London Bridge to Westminster). If you enjoy political debates then try and get a ticket for Prime Minister's Questions, or just attend a debate in the House of Commons. The Common Council at Guildhall is also worth a try, or maybe Sunday lunchtime at Speakers' Corner
If you enjoy City Hall then you might like to visit